How to Survive a Mosh Pit

You're trapped in a dark room, shoulder to shoulder in a sea of strangers. An ear splitting screech pierces the room, the heat is suffocating, and suddenly a fat man is resting a sweaty armpit on your face.

You are about to encounter a mosh pit.

Whether you get trampled, punched in the face, or escorted from the premises in an ambulance all depends on how well you pay attention to the next several paragraphs. I'm about to tell you how to survive in the pit.


In or Out?
If a pit breaks out, and you find yourself lookie-looing from the edge, chances are some meathead is going to toss you in against your will. If you would rather not participate, put at least three layers of human bodies between you and the pit. Curiosity got the better of you? Read on.

Mind Your Manners
What does a mosh pit at a punk rock show have in common with a dinner party? Etiquette, my friend. The "unwritten rules" of how to behave, as it were. A circle pit might look like chaos unleashed, but if you want to survive, you need to show some manners. You can push, shove, and dance like a maniac in a circle--you can even put your arm around a complete stranger and skip around throwing forearms into people large and small. But you don't punch, kick, or deliberately go after a single person just to cause harm. Distribute beatings evenly, and if you knock someone down, help them up quickly. At the end of the night, you might have a new friend.

Secure Your Valuables
Watches, wallets, jewelry, even shoes are commonly swallowed up by the jaws of a circle pit. At a particularly violent show, I even had a water pouch ripped right our of my hydration backpack. Years ago I'd secure my wallet with a chain, but most of the time the security search will confiscate heavy metals. Side note: I once saw a guy with a wallet chain bump into a large bald man's girlfriend. The bald man grabbed the chain, ripped chain and wallet from the unfortunate young soul, and sent his wallet and chain soaring through the crowd. It was never seen again.

Protect Vulnerable Regions
You're going to take a beating, so it stands to reason that you should pay attention. A decade ago I was observing a show from the fringes of a pit, when out of the darkness a fist/elbow/tooth/forehead struck me in the face. A large chunk of my lip separated from the rest of my mouth, and the blood spatter began. My lip still isn't the same (the only doctor in the ER at that hour of the night wasn't a real doctor. She got to practice her unfortunate stitching skills on my face).

Control Your Rage
Some people aren't used to being shoved by a total stranger, and if you can't deal with this inconvenience, avoid circle pits. Some people don't like the cold, so they don't snowboard.  Some unfortunate souls fail to realize this simple truth, and after getting knocked to floor by a sturdy music lover, these people will rise from the floor ready to throw blows. But it's not a fight, and no harm was meant. Throwing punches in this situation will get you escorted out by security, and that's a best case scenario. Worst case is that scores of sweaty buff guys (and some scrawny ones too) will notice your breach of pit etiquette, and they'll send you on your way with a nice sound beating.
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Go ahead and let out your aggression: smash into some bodies, knock down the biggest guy in the room, but DO NOT punch, kick, or engage in rage against a particular individual. It's nothing personal if you get knocked to your back. Take a hand up and enjoy the music, otherwise you'll wind up with a severe thrashing and a security escort back to your vehicle. And there are no refunds, my hot-tempered friend.

Aside from the sweaty hairy armpits, a circle pit can be a ton of fun. If a song has ever made you want to jump, scream, and thrash around in a frenzy of semi-controlled aggression, you might want to enjoy a round or two. It sounds uncivilized, and perhaps it is. But there are rules even in the midst of anarchy, at least if you want to survive.

Now shove that fat guy's sweaty pit off your head, pick someone up off the floor, and go make some friends.

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